Looking at it now

Looking at it now,
I realize all was so simple,
You were never there but this is how;
you were always around….
At times I curse the summer noon,
That was the first I saw you,
And with no control;
I let my emotions roll,
To call you in… my thoughts…
I called in the emotions,
Whose force could have ripped me apart,
But survived and lived in the pain;

Why did I call it a memorable time,

when I was losing sane….

Looking at it now,

I remember the silence of the cold night,

That made me hear my heart,

Watching us lying down,

hypothetical… on an empty couch…

I see my diary wrecked open,

I see the words I couldn’t pen,

“I wouldn’t let you make me lose my sane”,

And that is what I decided…

I silently cried,

To the inner peace to show up,

Now that it did; in one decision,

All I did was to learn,

To drop off the thoughts in my head…

Looking at it now,

I fell for you once again,

At least now I didn’t roll myself,

In emotions that troubled me,

And placed you in cherished memories.

This is how you were never there,

But always and will always live around….